I and CBS have agreed to resolve our disputes concerning the ownership of the Work; as part of the settlement between the Parties, the Parties have agree that there will be no further comment; and CBS is considering opportunities to offer licensed copies of the Work.
Because of the above, I can no longer comment on the He Walked Among Us screenplay myself. But I can still respond to general questions about screenwriting and si forth on this page.
This screenplay was commissioned by Gene Roddenberry as a vehicle for Milton Berle as a serious actor and he also sent me to an overgrown backlot village set he wanted to to try to write into the script too.
It was written in 1967 and lost for 45 years.
This original version was rewritten into an unfunny comedy by the line producer Gene Coon apparently unaware that Uncle Miltie was also a serious dramatic actor and a good one. It t was so bad that I complained to Roddenberry.
"This is so lousy, Gene, that you should kill it!" I told him. "You can't, you shouldn't, shoot this thing! Read it and weep!"
Gene did, and he agreed with me. I killed my second Star Trek, which, down through the years has cost me tens of thousands of dollars in lost residuals.
I thought the text of my original version--written on a typewriter!--was lost forever until recently a fan asked me to autograph a faded copy he had bought somewhere. I did, and in return he sent me a pdf off a scan, and that's what I've put on Amazon, not a great copy maybe, but the only one that exists or probably can exist.
Now also available in ePub format on Barnes & Noble
ReplyDeletehttp://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/star-trek-he-walked-among-us-norman-spinrad/1108927310?ean=2940013956629&itm=1&usri=norman+spinrad
Thank you!!!!!!!!
DeleteFormatting of the Nook release is very poor.
DeleteKnowing how awesome of a writer Norman Spinrad is, I doubt it couldn't have been that bad.
ReplyDeleteUnless of course Dennis Bailey rewrote it and Vic Mignogna and the Starship Farragut production team absconded the script like the latter two supposedly did with the Starship Ajax sets.
Very cool, Norman!
ReplyDeleteMaybe we'll get very lucky and Star Trek Phase II will produce it!!
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you now have a copy of your script, but I don't think it's as rare as you're making it out to be, and it's certainly not long-lost. I've got two copies that I bought at San Diego Comic Con a few years ago, and I've frequently seen it at other conventions as well. It's pretty easy to find, in fact--not only at conventions but on eBay and online.
ReplyDeleteWell I never saw it and I was always looking. And even when I finally did get this copy, I wasn't sure I had the right to sell it in any form until I checked it out. And what I found out was that all publication rights were mine due to what is called "Separation of Rights."
ReplyDeleteTherefore for anyone else to sell copies anywhere in any form was and is illegal.
You might want to go after these auctions, then:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ebay.com/itm/STAR-TREK-TOS-The-Original-Series-set-of-three-unfilmed-scripts-Roddenberry-/250991257172?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3a703ea654#ht_2799wt_1152
http://www.webidz.com/auction_details.php?auction_id=1389317
Checked these out. And although they are illegal, what they both are selling is not my original script, but the version rewritten by Gene Coon.
ReplyDeleteI can't find it on Amazon. There seems to be novel of that name, but not an unproduced Star Trek script.
ReplyDeleteHere you go - http://tinyurl.com/8x4gq24
DeleteThere is a novel called "he walks among us" that apparently has nothing to do with Star Trek (I read it over a year ago). You can find the Star Trek version under "Star Trek-He walks among us". I just bought it and I can see Berle in the role of Bayne...however the thought of Shatner and Berle in the same space boggles the mind.
DeleteNorman,
ReplyDeleteAny chance of a purchasable .pdf version? I don't have a Kindle, and don't want to buy a Kindle when this is the only thing I'd ever read on it.
And the world was thus forever robbed of Kirk/Berle fanfic.
ReplyDeleteWorry not about lost residuals. It's good karma and dharma to the rescue, albeit decades later! You'll see bountiful royalties from these book sales, I hope!
ReplyDeleteYou're a fantastic writer, Mr. Spinrad. I'm not narrowing that kudo to your Star Trek episode. ("The Doomsday Machine.") Your books are fantastic, your creativity and thinking are eye-opening to behold.
Many thanks to whomever returned the manuscript back to you -- and your decision to publish it!
Will this eventually appear on iBooks like "Bug Jack Barron" or should I go ahead and purchase the Kindle version. Just asking, I know Apple can be slow approving stuff and I want to read this :)
ReplyDeleteNo plans to put anything self published on iBooks. They make it far too difficult. The novel BUG JACK BARRON was put there by Reamimus, an ebook publisher. I put the script there, I undercut myself. Also I have political issues against Apple. Like Foxconn. Like its vertical monopolies. Like what it did to the music biz, etc.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the script...sorry we never got a chance to see it produced.
ReplyDeleteOne question: Which part was written for Milton Berle? Lokar, I'm guessing? I would have thought it was Bayne, but since you clearly describe him as "a Negro from Earth", I guess not.
Yes, it was for Bayne. But the character list, as I remember, was studio added. Maybe after Berle was out of the picture. And come to thing of it, my original notion for the aliens was that they should be played by black actors, but with their hair, eyebrows, beards if any, silvered. Would have looked alien, but handsomely so. I remember being told that would be too difficult or something. So somehow, maybe, it got confused, because then Bayne would either have to be a black act or a white actor in blackface.
ReplyDeleteHey, Norman. Any chance of reading your star trek ii script? Or is that locked in the paramount vaults somewhere?
ReplyDeleteWhoops, I meant "phase ii"
ReplyDeleteApple _saved_ the music industry by finally providing a way to buy music that is easier than pirating music.
ReplyDeletePeople aren't inherently thieves but they are lazy.
Napster/gnutella/etc let you get an album in minutes compared to "oh, sorry, we don't carry that" at music stores -- of course it took off.
iTunes raised the quality of the music (no more stupid 112kbps rips or pops due to scratched plastic), raised the reliability (no more hung downloads at 65%), and makes management of desktop and mobile versions nearly seamless. Better selection, better availability, better quality, and everyone gets paid.
The best part is, it can only get better -- anyone could replace Apple in the blink of an eye! All they have to do is build something better.
No, I'm convinced Apple saved the music industry.
I have co-written an album, performed as a vocalist, have quite a few musician friends, know the biz, and believe me, or if not me, them, Apple, far from saving the music industry has ruined it financially for the artists, has helped to ruin the technical quality of the sounds, and dumbed down the artform.
DeleteMr. Spinrad,
ReplyDeleteAs a fan of the original Star Trek, I count "The Doomsday Machine" as being among my all-time favorite episodes, if not my most favorite. I found it elevated the actors, pushed the production/special effects teams and inspired some of the music of the series' history. I doubt any of that would have been possible without what was on the page. Having now read your script for "He Walks Among us", I was overwhelmed with feelings of nostalgia for what Trek was before it got bogged down by Treknobabble and shoddy-storytelling.
I was curious, first, if any of this story was salvaged for what later became "The Omega Glory" as that there are some notable similarities. Also, were the changes to your script made specifically to make them more comedic in an attempt to make them more "Berle-friendly" (despite the idea that he could have handled a dramatic turn) or was there something larger afoot? Basically, was there a reason why the dramatic version couldn't simply have been shot without Mr. Berle or was Mr. Coon intent on simply making it more lighthearted fare?
Thank you for allowing us this insight into what could have been,
J. Marcus
Yes it could have easily been shot as I wrote it without Berle. I can't can't channel Coon, but I do know that the main reason he rewrote HE WALKED AMONG US was to obtain half the credit and therefore half the residuals. I know this because he did this with several other scripts before it became my turn.
DeleteAnd when I protested to him, he told me, with utter cynicism: "Play ball with me, kid, and you'll be making $100,000 a year. If you don't, you'll not write for this show ever again."
There seems to be a lot of similar stories like the one you just told starting to surface about the old show. I just heard a retelling of the Vulcan Neck Pinch origin story that changes some of the parameters significantly.
DeleteStill, I am glad that your original script has resurfaced. I may have to get an e-reader so I can enjoy it!
You can download free software than will allow you to read the script and other Kindle content on a computer, or, I think some smart phones.
DeleteYour memory of Coon explains something I found when I was researching Theodore Sturgeon. There was a refernce that Coon issued a $750 demand to Paramount for having furnished “Amok Time”’s story. Since the story was shot through with Sturgeon themes and elements it seemed unlikely, but sometimes a good author can make something of an external project. Whether that was true or not in this case, Coon's demand now looks a lot more like a claims grab.
Delete- matthew davis
$750 for what? Coon was on salary, there was nothing in a WGA tv contract calling for a payment that small. He could have furnished the idea to Ted, but if it was a "story", it was worth much more money, and if it wasn't, he was just acting as a story editor. I wonder if Paramount paid the $750.
DeleteSeveral people here and elsewhere have asked me if HE WALKED AMONG US might be shot by Phase II. So I investigated, talked in over with James Cawley, and the plan now is to shoot it in the Fall with me directing.
ReplyDeleteNorman,
DeleteAs a part of Phase II I am so pleased we will work together this very year! Thank you for contacting James!
Norman,
DeleteAs a part of Phase II I am so pleased we will work together this very year! Thank you for contacting James!
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThat's wonderful news. Looking forward to it!
Deletewonderful glad that cawley and crew will actually shoot it. with you directing it.It will be done right
ReplyDeleteNorman - we've had customers inquire about purchasing this on Kobo - is there a way we can connect and make it available there as well? Thanks. Mark Lefebvre, Director Self Publishing & Author Relations, Kobo.com
ReplyDeleteI look forward to seeing it, thank-you for making it available soon. My interest in Star Trek began in my childhood when Captain Kirk was on regular TV, then lost track for many years until now, thanks to getting a laptop and finding the Star Trek website! I am a Christian and the title 'He Walked Among Us' caught my eye, I wonder if it will resemble the Christ Story and His life...?
ReplyDeleteYes and no. But the finale does in a backhand way. But decades later I titled my novel HE WALKED AMONG US, a story having nothing to do with the script, to make it a kind of subtle reference. I don't know whether a Christian would find what I did there offensive, there are many kinds of Christians (my friend Phil Dick for one!), some did, some really liked it.
Delete9 dollars are you people INSANE? it's the script for just ONE episode which if it was ever released it would cost less to see. Assholes.
ReplyDeleteNorman,
ReplyDeleteI am a big fan of The Doomsday Machine... I even made a condensed 10 minute film : http://www.georgepetergatsis.net/fun_DOOMSDAYin10.mp4
Of all the download offerings for He Walked Among Us... is there any option that takes PayPal?
Not yet, but I think soon there will be. I'm in the process of making a deal with Kobo.
ReplyDeleteWhat really be cool is to PAYPAL directly to you and getting a PDF back to my email?
DeleteOh well... I'll wait this one out.
Thanks for the quick reply
You can't do that now, but as you can see above, you now can do it if you want a paper copy.
ReplyDeleteMr Spinrad thank you, for the doomsday machine episode . Though i was born in the early 90's, i grew up watching reruns, and this is one of my favorites.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to seeing your work with Phase II.
Sir, whoever converted your "He Walked Among Us" script document to ePub for Barnes & Noble didn't finish the job. The document's full of code errors and formatting artifacts left over from the scan of a teleplay that no longer needs the headings that were typewritten on each page. Your complaints about what iTunes has ostensibly done to the technical quality of music has a counterpart right there.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I am a fan of your work, including "Doomsday Machine," "Bug Jack Barron," and "Iron Dream." I enjoyed "He Walked Among Us" and look forward to seeing its adaptation to video. I still very much wish Voyager hadn't ripped off its central idea with its "False Profits" episode.
I would like to see a movie based on Spinrad's _Child of Fortune_. Wendy Shasta Leonardo is hot.
ReplyDeleteGreat reading. Thx.
ReplyDeleteI finally got the chance to read this today. What a wonderful experience. You can see the actors and the sets in your mind. It was as if someone at Paramount found an old vault with a missing Trek episode inside.
ReplyDeleteI've posted a great review on Amazon (it may be up in a day or so.) This screenplay feels a bit like "A Private Little War," "This Side of Paradise," and, yes, a bit of "The Omega Glory" thrown in. But I consider "He Walked Among Us" to be superior in every way.
Had it been filmed as a comedy it would have been too close to "I, Mudd" which I consider a lousy episode but an OK comedy.
Duane Bruner
Well the way I write screenplay is to see the thing in my head and write it down. Long since I have been told that directors want more or less just masters. I wrote a screenplay of BUG JACK BARRON so detailed that one producer told me I should direct it.
ReplyDelete"Why?" ( I had never directed anything and he knew it)
"Because this is so shot for shot you've just about directed it already."
So now it looks like I'll be directing He Walked Among Us.
And Spinrad the director will not complain that Spinrad the screenwriter didn't just write it in masters!
I cannot wait to see it. Do you know when production starts? And when it might be released?
ReplyDeleteDuane Bruner
Thus far scheduled to be shot in September, but when and how released not known yet.
ReplyDeleteRe: your post from Mar. 10. I do not know what a "master" is. I'm in the process of writing a screenplay and how been told that I should only include action and dialogue. This advice may be wrong. I've been told that the director would then write a "shooting script" which gives a lot more detail.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to take a crack at writing the shooting script myself since there is so much more I'd like to communicate than simply action and dialogue. Anyway, this process is a lot of fun.
Duane Bruner
You're right about what a master is. But that doesn't mean the director rewrites the detail, although that sometimes happens. Basically it means they don't want you writing in camera directions.
ReplyDeleteI guess the script is no longer available? I couldn't find it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble tonight. And I agree, Doomsday Machine remains one of my favorite episodes of TOS. Thank you, Mr. Spinrad.
ReplyDeleteSee the statement below added to the top of this post"
ReplyDelete"I and CBS have agreed to resolve our disputes concerning the ownership of the Work; as part of the settlement between the Parties, the Parties have agree that there will be no further comment; and CBS is considering opportunities to offer licensed copies of the Work.
Because of the above, I can no longer comment on the He Walked Among Us screenplay myself. But I can still respond to general questions about screenwriting and si forth on this page."
But as it says, CBS may or may not make the He Walked Among Us screenplay once more available.
Thanks. I wasn't clear if that was part of the original post or subsequently. Thanks for the clarification. I should have grabbed it when I had the chance. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteCan Phase II still shoot it? I hope so, but I guess not.
ReplyDeleteAt the moment, not.
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. Spinrad,)
DeleteAn eerie coincidence brought me to this site. You recall Ned A the Evil Shrink? You remember my phone call many years ago? I've just read your Children of Hamelin. There is much I'd like to talk to you about. I'm writing my own, um, Daughter of Hamelin, if you catch my meaning. Would you be willing to talk? How could that be done?
I'd be maybe willing to talk. But you should email me at normanspinrad@hotmail.com to arrange it, not here. And refresh my memory as to who you are.
DeleteI believe that i have found a second copy today at a flea market. It is dated 1967 and says first draft on it. It is titled "he walks among us" by norman spinrad and is in excelent condition. Can anybody tell me about this.
ReplyDeleteSeems like the same thing.
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteOn March 5, 2012 I ordered an autographed copy of this script from Pat Wright via StarTrek.com. On April 3, 2012, in answer to my email inquiring about the delayed delivery, 'Patty' sent back an email which read, "Mr. Spinrad was late getting me the signed covers, but all the scripts went out in the mail this morning." It has now been TWO MONTHS since I ordered and PAID FOR this autographed script and I have still not received it. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
I got your email forwarded to me, suggested to Patty Wright that it had probably been lost in the mail, and I've been told that she's sent you a replacemen.
ReplyDelete